Selfie King Lives Forever* (short fiction)



It was 10 years ago but I remember it as if it were yesterday.

According to the confirmation email the parcel should arrive between 8am-6pm, I was hoping it would be rather earlier. I remember cursing myself for being as tight as a fish’s arse. The five pounds upgrade would have given me a 1h delivery slot and I wouldn't have wasted the whole day. I had to call in sick that day.
At 5pm I started losing hope. Then the entry door buzzer came on.
I jumped up and pressed the button. Nervous sweat ran down my spine. I stood right behind the door, ear touching the smooth surface, listening.
I could hear someone walking up; heavy, slow steps on the concrete floor. It was the longest 15 seconds of my life.  He didn’t stop on the first floor. It was the right guy!
I saw myself, standing there, in front of the biggest mirror, in the biggest gym in town. With no t-shirt my pumped muscles looked enormous; you could see all the veins through the paper thin skin. A big crowd of groupies was keeping a safe distance; I needed a good light and bit of privacy. I lifted my newest iphone, I was ready to take a picture…

BAM! BAM! BAM!

A loud knock snapped me back to reality. My heart started racing even faster. I swung the door open and a delivery man handed me a parcel.

‘Sign here’ he said. Then he looked at me, smiled and said ‘you lucky bastard!’

Few minutes later, when I had calmed down enough to use scissors, I opened the blue box.
Inside I found a small container and instructions. I started reading.

’Congratulations Mr Smith! You are going to change your life, forever*. Are you ready?’

Of course I was ready! I had been waiting so long!

‘Tomorrow you will wake up with a new body, body of your dreams. No more diets, no more workouts, no more calories counting. You will be able to eat whatever you want, do whatever you want.
Don’t like exercising?- we have it covered. Don’t like to sweat? - no problem. In love with fast food? You can have it all day, every day, and still have the body of your dreams: lean, strong, with a visible 6 pack…’

Bla bla bla… I knew it by heart.  I had been reading it every day since I had heard about the PILL.

It was the biggest news since Viagra. With breakthrough technology,  Synax was offering a perfect solution for me and hundreds of millions of selfie addicts, who were struggling with weight management, low self esteem and who didn’t want to waste their lives exercising and eating well.

THE PILL went on sale on Monday at 12pm. Within a couple of seconds the stock was sold out. I was lucky enough to get the first batch.

Next day the social media were full of selfies of ripped, smiling, confident guys and sexy, slim girls. Sunbeds and fake tans had a best year ever, on eBay, sellers of hot pants couldn't get hold of enough stock.
Gyms around the country went out of business. Only ones with big mirrors survived.

I grabbed the box, opened it and picked up a small, oval pill.

‘Take me. You will feel and look awesome! Pain and effort free. You always wanted it. Don't be afraid. Take me. Do it now!’

I swallowed the pill….

I have 144k followers on Instagram, photos of my perfect body are  all over the web, I am 5x world  champion in competitive posing, and I am the main guy behind the award winning ‘How to take a perfect topless selfie’ online tutorial.


Too bad I will die in the next 24h… I should have paid more attention to the small print.


*Our pill works for 10 years, then your life will be terminated and your body used for science.








Strong Body, Open Mind, Beautiful Soul.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Book a personal training with Leszek
Go to http://fitnesssoul.co.uk/personal-training-edinburgh/-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Popular posts from this blog

68 min faster in 11 months. My journey to sub 11h Ironman Triathlon.

How The Endurance Training Ruins Your Health And What To Do About This?

Tri #2 Average Bloke, Intrigued And Inspired By The Feats Of Endurance